Port Jefferson Station
Member Since June 2008
My Story
Three months after my world fell apart I walked into my local Curves and spoke with Patty, one of the owners. She asked me why I had decided to come to Curves. A perfectly logical question, but the answer I had to give threatened to destroyed me. I explained to her that Bryan, my husband of nine years, had just passed away. Not just passed away, but had been on life support and I had to make the heartbreaking decision to turn off the machines and let him go. He had lost his battle with Muscular Dystrophy at the age of 47. I felt as if someone had taken a knife and plunged it deep into my heart. A month after Bryan's passing I suffered a miscarriage and lost our second child. Plunge the knife a second time. I now found myself a widow, a single parent of a 5 year old boy with special needs and completely dead inside. I withdrew from family and friends and the world in general. Life now gave that knife an excruciating twist. We were always Bryan and Patti, and as part of that team I knew who I was. I was Bryan's wife, friend, love and caregiver. Now, unfortunately, I was none of those things. Now I was just Patti. I didn't know how to be just Patti, or even who she was anymore. One thing was certain, I could never be the same person I had been as Bryan's wife - I had to change. I desperately wanted to get healthy and live a good long time for my sweet little boy. I wanted to feel alive again! I wanted to get out in the world again! My life and I had to change. Perhaps the key now was to take care of me. This was the first step in my transformation.
At first I found it hard to look at the other members. I was sure that they could see my pain in my face. I had made myself an outcast from the world, and now I had to ease my way back into it. By the end of my first month at Curves I was smiling again and joining in the conversations. How did that happen? I was looking forward to my workouts and to seeing my Curves family. I was going to Curves 5 days a week and burning over 600 calories a workout. I can do this!
I took advantage of the Six Week Solution class with Dr. Len. It was so nice after having to make so many horrible decisions to have someone tell me exactly what I had to do to eat healthy. I didn't have to think about it at all. I simply followed the rules and the pounds started to melt off. Dr. Len said that we should surround ourselves with people who supported our goals and us. Of course he was talking about weight loss, but I took it to mean so much more than that. I started letting my family and friends know that I was in pain and I needed them. I let the facade drop that I was ok. I joined a support group and shared my pain, my tears and my triumphs with others. I joined a ladies bible study group and strengthen my faith. Just a few weeks weeks ago I cut 10 inches off the length of my hair and donated it to Locks of Love to help those with cancer. I will even be returning to college in the fall to pursue a teaching degree so that I may help other special children like my son. More importantly, I started to give myself recognition. I had walked through the fire. I had pulled myself up off the ground and was growing a little bit stronger every day. That was something that needed to be applauded and I knew that Bryan was cheering for me. As I sit here and tell you this story the tears are still falling. Some are falling for the pain I have gone through, some are falling for the pain I still have, and some are falling because I am beginning to see the person that I am now to become. And do you know what? I think I like her. There are still days that bring me to my knees, but there are also days full of such beauty and joy.
My Curves experience is about so much more than the 60 pounds and three chins that I lost over the past year. It is more about everything that I have gained with the help of the staff and lovely members - strength, self-worth, confidence, support, friendship and me, to name a few. Thank you to Patty, Dr. Len and all you lovely ladies. I owe you all more than you know.
My Photos